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Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Hours Off

My ultimate goal, right now, is to repair the pot holes and roadblocks that are dirtying up my happiness journey. I will admit that it's been a struggle. If I'm to be perfectly honest, I know that I have a hard time handling any stress. I'm overly emotional. I'm not a good fighter. And sharing my feelings usually ends up with me broken down in tears. I'm impatient. I'm stubborn. I'm a complete worrier.

On the other hand, I've never claimed to be perfect. It's so vital to know yourself, to be truthful with every little particle, hormone, and flaw that come together to make you who you are. I tend to believe, that despite these little quirks, I am a good person. Good deeds make me feel inner joy, so I try to do them often. I think of others before myself as much as I can, especially concerning the ones I love.

It might be because of these traits (both good ones and not-so-lovely ones), that I often neglect my own needs. So tonight, I reclaimed myself.

I went to dinner by myself- indulging in green tea, miso soup, seaweed salad, and a delicious caterpillar roll. I treated myself to a pedicure and manicure (which really I needed-- I'm in my roommates from college's wedding this weekend). I read my book. And thought about no-one and nothing.

Suddenly, the fog that had settled in my mind feels lifted. My shoulders a tad lighter. The knots in my back loosened.

So maybe, as I struggle to clear the road ahead, I need to remember to take a few hours off from my own brain and try to enjoy myself.


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